The Internet plays a significant part in our everyday lives, in contemporary society. Most people have access to smart devices such as smartphones, laptops, and tablets with connectivity to the Internet. This new ability to connect with friends and families, instantaneously via the Internet, also introduced people to the world of new technologies, social media platforms and applications that are used as mediums to connect people, provide them with built-in tools to create user-generated content and allowing them to share their content to the wider online communities of like-minded individuals who share the same interest, hobbies, and beliefs. Instagram has grown immense popularity in recent years and is one of the most popular, visual-based social media platforms, with users who come from all walks of life, including new mothers (Germic, Eckert & Vultee, 2021). These new mothers often have an active presence in an online community of their choice and follow and engage with motherhood bloggers to acquire parenting advice as well as lifestyle trends such as fashion, home organisation and decorating tips. Motherhood bloggers, who are also referred to as ‘mommy bloggers’, have established themselves in their online communities such as Instagram and Facebook, to share insightful parenting resources with other Internet users and often have large numbers of followings due to their relatability and admirable lifestyles, that are portrayed on their social media accounts or blogs (Abidin, 2017). While new mothers seek parental advice from influential Instagram motherhood bloggers, they are also exposed to unrealistic views of motherhood that lead to body image dissatisfaction, social comparison, and impulsive consumer behaviours.
The false sense of self-representation that is portrayed by motherhood bloggers on Instagram could potentially inflict serious body image and low self-esteem issues among new mothers who actively use the platform on a daily basis. Women often compare themselves to other women throughout the many stages of their lives. Motherhood is also a significant stage of life in which new mothers compare themselves to others, even more, apparent now because social media is readily available, making it extremely easy for new mothers to spend a large portion of their days browsing Instagram for inspiration and constantly compare themselves to other mothers (Lewallen, 2016 as cited in Germic et al., 2021). This perpetual online participatory culture subsequently leads to new mothers being insecure about their body image when they start to compare their new postpartum bodies to those of the popular mommy bloggers and mom influencers who lead active, lavish lifestyles and can afford to fully dedicate their time on vigorous exercises to regain their pre-natal physiques (Germic et al., 2021). New mothers, who live in the middle-class society, may not have emotional or financial support from their families or partners and may feel inadequate and worthless as they are not able to fulfil their desires of regaining their pre-pregnancy bodies because they are often burnt out from the normal struggles in the mundane tasks of childrearing in motherhood.
The insecurity of body image issues from the participation on Instagram can also lead to other social comparisons of financial situations and general lifestyles which triggers mental health issues such as anxiety and depression in motherhood. The perfect images and self-representation displayed by motherhood bloggers on Instagram generate social comparison among new mothers because new mothers who use Instagram are inclined to take inspiration in all aspects of life and not only parenthood (Kahn, 2021, p.45). They eventually start to compare themselves to successful motherhood influencers who seem to have everything under control by displaying well-organised, aesthetically beautiful, clean homes. Instagram is primarily referred to as the visual-based social media platform where its users create aesthetically pleasing profiles to establish their online presence and gain popularity among other users within the platform. Instagram users such as new mothers, use Instagram as a form of self-escapism, a creative outlet and also to establish their own online identity. Forming an online identity on Instagram as a ‘networked self’, interacting with other Instagram users or influential bloggers and acquiring a higher number of followers along the way (Papacharissi, 2011, p.305). They feel inadequate when their own Instagram posts do not perform and do not receive as many ‘likes’ or ‘views’ as other Instagram moms or motherhood bloggers (Tiggemann, Hayden, Brown & Veldhuis, 2018, p.91).The anxiety of having to keep up with other motherhood bloggers online while trying to build a successful family in the real world often clashes and can have a drastic effect on their mental health because they never feel content with what they have and are always comparing themselves to other motherhood bloggers and finding validation from other Instagram users (Kahn, 2021, p.54).
Furthermore, fictitious portrayals of motherhood are being projected by motherhood bloggers across Instagram. These women are highly admired among middle-class mothers and are seen as successful by being able to juggle all aspects of motherhood while looking healthy, fashionable, and well-groomed at all times. This type of motherhood is referred to as the ‘alpha mom’. Alpha moms choose to only display well-curated representations of themselves on their Instagram feed. They are always well-spoken and present themselves in a professional manner to their online audience at all times (Douglas & Michaels, 2005 as cited in Germic et al., 2021). This false sense of self-representation creates many serious mental health issues such as anxiety, social comparison, and depression among new mothers on Instagram because they cannot help but compare themselves to the perfect images that are intentionally broadcast by these types of motherhood bloggers. While being exposed to the flawless, unrealistic ideologies of the alpha moms, new mothers doubt their own self-efficacy and persistently question themselves if they are doing enough to build a successful household while also being able to manage to have a successful career to contribute income to the family as well as being the mindful parent to their children. Upholding the faultless image brings lots of burden to the already stressful role of being a mother. The unrealistic views of motherhood create anxiety in the already easily affected self-esteem of new mothers in today’s fast-paced society (Press, 2006 as cited in Germic et al., 2021).
Impulsive consumer behaviours are prevalent on Instagram and are another direct consequence of social comparison among new mothers. While the main purpose of motherhood bloggers is to share their parenting experiences on Instagram, they are also often associated with social media marketing and are promoting different products that are related to their niche and online communities. Brands are taking advantage of mummy bloggers and their abilities to create digital content and publish them in such engaging and creative ways that, to consumers, may seem like non-direct advertisements (Leaver, Highfield & Abidin, 2020, p.165). This is an impactful marketing strategy and in turn, creates impulsive purchasing behaviours among Instagram users who make purchases without making informed decisions, especially new mothers who are easily influenced because they look up to successful motherhood influencers on Instagram as well as secretly wish to live the same, trendy lifestyle by using the same products or wearing the latest fashion items as the Instagram celebrity moms.
The new social phenomenon that followed exposure to the new digital lifestyle is called ‘fear of missing out’ (FOMO) and is found prominently among groups of new mothers who regularly make uninformed purchasing decisions based on what they see on Instagram. These new mothers seek attention from other Instagram users by purchasing, posting, and boasting about their newly purchased, luxurious items on Instagram. FOMO leads to jealousy and takes over new mothers’ sense of contentment. While they are displaying happiness on their Instagram pages, they are never really content with what they have as they perpetually continue to follow and duplicate influencers’ trending lifestyles (Reed, 2020, p.9).
On the other hand, realistic self-representation of motherhood is found to be well-received among other new mothers because this type of realist narrative of motherhood is relatable. The relatability helps with building trust that results in a stronger bond and sense of belonging within the online community of like-minded mothers (Germic et al., 2021, p.4). Social media had changed the way people communicate, build online communities, and generate ‘pervasive awareness’ in online communities (Hampton, 2015). Hampton (2015) describes pervasive awareness as “an affordance of the ambient nature of digital communication”, (Hampton, 2015). Women and new mothers are interested in following and engaging with motherhood bloggers who normalise struggles in the everyday tasks of parenthood. These imperfect motherhood bloggers choose to share their normal, mundane lifestyles in creative, humorous, and engaging ways that express positive messages about motherhood. The feeling of not being judged by your online peers leads to a sense of unity within the online communities (Chen, 2013 as cited in Germic et al., 2021). Feminist views and empowering messages are often exchanged among the members of the community to uplift one another instead of competitiveness and social comparison within the ‘alpha mom’ community. Body positivity is also promoted among new mothers in the realistic motherhood community as this type of new mother works hard to erase the stigma of having to be the perfect mother and regain the pre-pregnancy figures. They will encourage each other to accept their new bodies and to love themselves for who they are and not who they were (Nash, 2015, p.4). The support within this type of motherhood network extends beyond body image issues. The women in the realist motherhood community often share tips and tricks on how to be money savvy by reusing household items or purchasing fashionable items and home decors from more& functional, lower-cost department stores such as Kmart and Big W, as opposed to high-end department stores such as Myer or David Jones (Rojek & Baker, 2020, p.16).
In essence, Instagram is a popular social media platform that is used by many people across the world, who have access to the Internet and new technologies such as smart devices. New mothers choose to create online presents on Instagram for many different reasons such as a creative outlet of self-escapism and to form relationships with homogenous mothers who share similar interests and ways of life. Instagram provides its users with many functions within the application, to create interesting and eye-catching content that draws the attention of other Instagram users to visit and follow their profiles. When Instagram users who share the same interests engage with one another regularly, a community or niche is formed. Online motherhood communities can be found across Instagram as new mothers are constantly seeking parenting experiences and advice to implement with their children. However, being constantly exposed to the luxurious and fictitious aspects that are commonly displayed on Instagram by motherhood bloggers and influencers can affect new mothers’ self-worth which leads to low self-esteem issues, lifestyle comparisons and impulsive consumer patterns that are harmful to their financial situations as well as mental health and well-being.
References
Abidin, C. (2017). #familygoals: Family influencers, calibrated amateurism, and justifying young digital labor. Social Media + Society, 3(2), 1–15.
https://doi.org/10.1177/2056305117707191
Germic, E. R., Eckert, S. and Vultee, F. (2021). The Impact of Instagram Mommy Blogger Content on the Perceived Self-Efficacy of Mothers
https://doi.org/10.1177%2F20563051211041649
Hampton, K. (2016). Persistent and Pervasive Community: New Communication Technologies and the Future of Community. Vol. 60(1) 101–124.
https://doi.org/10.1177%2F0002764215601714
Kahn, W. J. (2021). Social Media in the 21st Century: Perspectives, Influences and Effects on Well-Being. http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/curtin/reader.action?docID=6644529
Laughlin, K. (2020). Instagram Use and Social Comparison.
https://www.proquest.com/docview/2410707753?pq-origsite=primo
Leaver, T., Highfield, T, & Abidin, C. (2020). Instagram: visual social media cultures / Tama Leaver, Tim Highfield, Crystal Abidin. Digital Media and Society Series. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/20563051211041649
Nash, M. (2015). Shapes of motherhood: exploring postnatal body image through photographs. Journal of gender studies, Vol.24(1), p.18-37
https://doi.org/10.1080/09589236.2013.797340
Papacharissi, Z. (2011). A Network Self : Identity, Community, and Culture on Social Network Sites. http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/curtin/reader.action?docID=574608
Reed, K. (2020). Fear of Missing Out and Social Comparison on Instagram, Its Effects on People’s Psychological Well-being. https://www.proquest.com/docview/2429073130?pq-origsite=primo
Rojek, C & Baker, S. A. (2020). Lifestyle Gurus: Constructing Authority and Influence Online. https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/curtin/reader.action?docID=6027981
Tiggemann, M., Hayden, S., Brown, Z. & Veldhuis, J. (2018). The effect of Instagram “likes” on women’s social comparison and body dissatisfaction. Body Image, Vol26, p.90-97. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2018.07.002
Hi Jay interesting read,
I agree mothers are constantly bombarded with judgment via social media. The most recent example I’ve seen was Kylie Jenner posting herself ‘working out’ almost immediately after having her son and having zero sign of a post-baby body. I found it extremely disturbing, it is obvious that she has had a BBL, liposuction and numerous other surgeries. I worry that the average new mum will feel pressured to either get the same surgery or feel down when working out doesn’t achieve the same standard. I’ve seen a recent surgery trend online called a ‘mommy makeover’ promoted by plastic surgeons, which involves highly dangerous surgeries such as the BBL, and is sometimes performed in foreign countries. I wonder if social media platforms should implement fake body trigger warnings on social media posts?
Hi Sienna,
I agree with you! It’s also worth mentioning that because the Kardashians/Jenners have so much money, they likely have a lot of help from nannies, chefs, cleaners etc. Meaning they have a lot more time to focus on getting back into shape. The comparison online is really sad but unavoidable. I would agree with you, surgery and filters should be made public so that people are not comparing themselves to unrealistic people and standards.
Hi Jay,
I really enjoyed your essay! Being of the age now where many friends of mine are starting families, I’ve really started to notice the negative effect on their confidence and self-image. For example, my sister in law has left many of the physical meetup groups for new mothers because of the same toxic competitive mothering culture. Do you think mommy blogging is also critical of mothering styles? And how do you think this online culture affects the relationships of mothers in other communities?
Hi Taylah, interesting that you brought up the physical meetup groups because I agree these can be just as toxic. I myself got very lucky with my physical mum’s group and have made some life-long friends. We are all very supportive of one another and non-competitive. However, a couple of the women in my group were in different groups prior and had horrible experiences of feeling judged and like they didn’t belong – which would be a horrible experience as a first time mum. It makes me wonder whether some of these women are in-fact influenced by social media and these ‘alpha mum’s’ and are almost recreating this lifestyle in their own lives, excluding those they feel don’t meet their standards. Very sad that this behaviour goes on.
Hi Jay,
Very interesting topic. I totally agree with you, I often find some motherhood bloggers on Instagram recommending products. We need to know that children’s and pregnant women’s bodies are to be specially protected. If there are bloggers selling some bad products under the name of motherhood, will it be harmful to the children’s and pregnant women’s bodies? So I think Instagram also needs to regulate the products that bloggers share to prevent people from selling bad products
Hi Jay, thank you for contributing your paper to the conference, it was a very interesting read.
When reading through your paper my first thought was about the children of these parents. With the way social media has become so obsessed with follower count I feel that many influencers are taking a darker path to achieve fame. I have heard stories in the past of online influencers exploiting their families for popularity, and those stories make me worry about the kids in the posts you mention. It also felt quite similar to an essay I wrote a while back about a similar issue that social media can present to teenagers. Like the influencers you mentioned they only show a small portion of their life that looks the best, and as you said it leads to unrealistic expectations of life for their followers. While I do understand that some people only want to show the good parts of their lives online, it makes me happy to know that there are influencers out there showing the realistic lives of a mother to their followers.
Sam
Hi Jay,
very interesting paper/topic! I very much agree with you in terms of the false representation and idealisation regarding motherhood in relation to social media. I especially loved your inclusion of FOMO culture and comparisons of financial situations, given I have never really thought about the topic of finances and the onset of anxiety that causes. Do you have any Mum bloggers off Instagram or Facebook who you feel are leading the shift towards positivity and shedding realistic light on the topic? Would love to know your thoughts and if you get a spare minute I would love it if you could have a read of my paper about Millennials, Foodies and Facebook 🙂
Link to my paper: https://networkconference.netstudies.org/2022/csm/624/millennials-and-their-habitual-facebook-use-are-pioneering-the-growth-of-the-online-foodie-community/
Hey there! Thanks for sharing your paper in this conference. This is a good read.
The first thought that struck me when reading is about the children and their biological parents. Social media became often associated with popularity and number of followers where many people will do anything, even if it does not bring positive gains to gain fame. I have seen numerous stories of people committing stupid acts to become famous. Or rather, become infamous. I like how you focus on Children because they learn and do from what they see which makes them all the more vulnerable to becoming exploited for such infamous/acts of stupidity. What you mentioned is quite similar about what I written about social media spreading negativity, discrimination and adverse political discourse which can happen in various forms. The figures or people shown doing such acts are what you see on the surface but it does not say much about their life. It is always good to judge and think twice about what you just saw or heard online.
Interesting read. I think you’ve made a heap of great points around the negative and potentially dangerous side of motherhood blogging on social media platforms. I think theres room for a really balanced debate here though. Theres plenty of constructive, helpful and inspiring content for mums to consume thanks to social media. I’d argue that bloggers put in a lot of hard work to create engaging and insightful content with the aim to help out new mums. Although theres dangers to be aware of when you get sucked into social media to the point where it rules your life, when used in moderation I think these motherhood bloggers can actually add significant value to their communities.
Hi Jay, this is a great paper, thank you. I have written a similar paper but focusing on the negative effects of the Ideal Mothering Ideology in Facebook mothers groups. You mention that there is a counter narrative of ”real mothers” do you think this counter narrative is helpful in reducing the harmful effects of the ”Alpha Mom” image or do you think it just perpetuates the difference between those who seemingly can or can’t measure up?
If you are interested in reading my paper it is here https://networkconference.netstudies.org/2022/csm/630/using-social-networks-for-support-is-damaging-to-the-wellbeing-of-new-mothers/
Hey Jay, thanks for letting us read your paper.
It must be hard today for young mothers to adjust to parenting especially when they are bombarded on social media platforms like Instagram from motherhood bloggers giving advice. I’m sure some of these tips like lower-cost department store shopping, such as Target, Kmart and Big W are very helpful to inspire parents to shop wisers. I agree with you, that being exposed to luxurious and fictitious aspects can lead to self-esteem issues. I think it’s partly human nature to compare ourselves to others, whether or not it’s healthy for our mental well-being. I’m glad more empowering messages are being exchanged through online “Mummy blogger” communities and hopefully this could lead to a wider range of acceptance to all mothers no matter their class, race or religion beliefs. I believe we must understand everyone’s mother is different, but we all end in the same position, loving your children and giving them the best possible opportunities in life.
Hi Jay,
Very interesting paper. I am not a mother myself, but a lot of my friends are so I agree that mommy bloggers are showing a potentially false perception of how motherhood is and promoting unattainable goals. This could lead to feelings of inadequacy and jealousy for new mothers which is SO what they don’t need. Although, my mum friends have recognised that money and lavish lifestyles is something mummy bloggers have, as you’ve cited in your paper (Germic et al., 2021), so they have an awareness that not everything you see on social media is an accurate representation of real life. And, as you have also stated, Instagram is used to “create aesthetically pleasing profiles” for popularity. It would interesting to see a nationwide survey on new mothers and how social media platforms impacts their mental health. Likewise, it would also be interesting to see how being a mommy blogger impacts someone’s mental health. I can imagine the pressure to be perfect on both sides would have some sort of impact. What do you think? How do you think mental health concerns should be addressed by audiences, mommy bloggers, and the online platforms that they use?
Cheers,
Chantal
Hi Jay, I found your paper very interesting as both a mother and also a sometimes-blogger. I do relate to so many of the points you’ve brought up, but also wonder if you feel that parenting blogs are all “bad”?
I’ve attached a link to my own paper, which discusses how connections and communities can be made stronger through social media – do you agree? While online bloggers and marketing can perpetuate an unrealistic image of life, I argue that these same platforms allow members of communities (in reference to your paper – new mothers specifically) to find like-minded community members and the ability to connect with each that isn’t always possible in the new circumstances of parenthood (where one is removed from most of their previously “normal” social settings e.g. workplace, social venues).
https://networkconference.netstudies.org/2022/csm/618/social-media-has-not-damaged-communities-communities-have-never-been-never-been-perfect-and-are-always-a-work-in-progress/
Hi Jay,
It is truly upsetting that new mothers have to look at these fake, photoshopped bodies on social media and how influencers portray a super fit and unblemished post-partum body. That is so clearly uncommon and unrealistic for new mothers. These influencers have lots of time and money to spend on their bodies to get them to look a certain way, the majority of the population don’t have that luxury. Body image is a huge social issue and is extremely tough for women as they are always portrayed as perfect on social media, it isn’t right that that is the ‘normal’ body we have to look at. It creates body dysmorphia issues, anxiety, depression, eating disorders and so many other health implications that are no discussed enough.
Is there any way that we are going to see a wave of ‘honest’ portrayals of the post-partum body? Or do you think it is going to continue to be unrealistic representations?
Hi Jay!
I loved reading your paper as it opened my eyes to the reality of motherhood on social media! I agree with you – motherhood bloggers and bloggers certainly created a space for a toxic culture surrounding motherhood. Mothers feel pressured to bounce back, especially if they are surrounded by other Alpha moms like you said who choose to portray an unrealistic social media presence that could also be a way to hide the real feelings surrounding motherhood, like the escapism you mentioned. I also wanted to point out that though this is the case- like you said, there’s also an avenue for realistic motherhood representations especially those done by celebrities as ultimately they have the power to influence more than the common man. One insistence that I noticed is how Kylie Jenner took to social media and shed light on how giving birth to her second child has taken a toll on her that she had not experienced with her first child Stormi. She also mentioned how she felt the pressure to “bounce back” the way she did with Stormi and took to her platform to convey how she feels better knowing that this is common amongst new moms and assured her fellow mothers that feeling this way is absolutely fine. While I am aware that Kylie does not live like the rest of us- I think that her way of opening up about this also allowed new mothers to feel like they are not alone and shed light on how postpartum is. I am not a mother myself however I have young friends who are new mothers and conveyed that a post like that from a celebrity means more than we can imagine as they associate them with power and if powerful people feel this way- the common public can definitely feel this way and feel supported.
Would love to hear your thoughts on the positive messages and opening up about motherhood from celebs like Kylie- Do you think it is productive or counterproductive?
– Neha
Hi Jay,
I enjoyed reading your paper! Although I am not a mother myself I have seen these ‘mommy bloggers’ frequently on my social media feeds. It’s quite saddening to realise how early motherhood is promoted in such a way as it being effortless, and that women should look, feel or act a certain way post-partum. I have also viewed more relatable content however its evident there are more unrealistic bloggers on the site. Why do you believe there are less realistic bloggers who share their post pregnancy expirience?
-Zoe
Hi Jay,
Your paper was a very insightful and interesting read and I am so glad someone touched on this topic! After many of the celebrities and influencers I watch have had babies I have found that they often show an unrealistic aftermath of pregnancy as they have an image/reputation to live up to and on the rare occasion someone shows a more realistic side of pregnancy I see hatred and disgust in comments. Why do you think this is?
Cheers,
Paige
Hi Jay,
This was a very interesting read on an issue that is more common than it should be. Similar with most influences, I don’t like the amount of influence and power they have over their audience based on what they themselves determine is right or wrong. Regarding motherhood I don’t think they should depict a right or wrong of going about everyday life. I obviously can’t speak from experience but I feel like it is something that everyone figures out for themselves and they figure what works for them. Especially regarding those present themselves with the picture-perfect lifestyle that most of us know is not realistic in obtaining. Branching out a little further, what are your thoughts on mothers and parents creating content around their children, such as the ACE Family on YouTube? Do you feel that using their children as tool to gain traction on social media or are they out there to simply have fun online?
Cheers, Ella.
Hello Jay!
I really enjoyed your paper which consists of many interesting points.
I really had great insights on it.
Cheers,
Gavin