Time is one of the few things in life we can never get back. How we spend it shapes not only our days, but who we become. Moments spent talking with friends and family, walking through the park, or doing the things we love – these are the things that create a life well lived.

As humans, we have an innate desire for connection: to feel seen, heard, understood – to belong. Naturally, we give our time to the people and experiences that make us feel the most alive. Social media was created to fulfill this need, connecting us to anyone, anywhere, at all times. For a while, it served its purpose. But in today’s world, we have become overconnected: constantly plugged in, endlessly accessible, yet more and more distant. What happens when we spend more time connecting through devices than with each other? When the time we once gave to real-life connection is taken over by something that only imitates it?

Increasingly, our precious time is consumed by our screens – mindlessly scrolling, caught in loops of distraction that replace real-life experiences. Instead of adding colour and meaning in our lives, many find themselves lost in the dull void of doomscrolling. What once began as a tool for connection has now become a compulsion. The platforms built to bring us closer are now pulling us away, competing for our attention, taking away the time we used to give to each other.

This paper argues that social media addiction encourages compulsive, time-consuming behaviours that reduce users’ capacity to connect meaningfully offline. It explores how these platforms are designed steal our attention, how this affects mental and social wellbeing, and how constant digital connection can prevent genuine human connection.

Context & Background

Social media addiction is more than just frequent use; it describes compulsive behaviours that interfere with daily life, manifesting in harmful physical and emotional reactions, as well as interpersonal and psychological problems (Hou et al., 2019). For many, it begins as a harmless habit of checking notifications or chatting online. But over time, these habits become routine, especially given the addictive design of social media. This is where the concept of the ‘attention economy’ business model becomes pertinent. Bhargava & Velasquez (2021) note that we are no longer just customers and users – we have become the product. These platforms monetise our attention, selling it to advertisers or other buyers. In this system, the most valuable resource is not money or data, but our time.

Bhargava & Velasquez (2021) also explain that social media platforms are designed to maximise user engagement through features like infinite scroll, autoplay, push notifications and algorithmic feeds. Consequently, the more time spent on these platforms give social media companies data on what works and what does not – allowing them to develop more and more strategies to maximise user engagement.

As people spend more time on social media and the digital space, their understanding of community begins to change as well. Hampton & Wellman (2018) discuss how fears of losing real-world community has grown increasingly as we moved deeper into a digital life. While online platforms offer spaces for people to connect, especially across distant places (Hampton, 2015), these connections feel different. They often feel less personal – users interact not to relate, but to consume. As India (2024) writes, “many of us don’t have friends anymore; we have followers. We don’t deeply care about each other’s lives; we consume them as content” (para 9). This shift highlights how community has transformed from shared time, trust, and genuine connection to something more performative and for consumption. In today’s digital age, being part of a “community” feels more like being an audience – it is less about real connection and more about visibility.

Time-Wasting by Design

No one plans to spend more than two hours scrolling on TikTok. Most of us open an app for a quick break, only to realise that half of the day is gone. However, this habit is not rooted in carelessness – it is exactly how social media platforms are designed. Bhargava & Velasquez (2021) outline three main design elements of these addictive platforms – first, the use of intermittent variable rewards (sometimes called the ‘slot machine effect’); second, implementing features that take advantage of desires for social validation and social reciprocity (i.e. likes, comments, shares); and third, platform designs that lack natural stopping cues (i.e. infinite scroll, autoplay). Even something as simple as an image appearing to be cut off at the bottom of the screen – all users have to do is keep scrolling to reveal the full image. These design strategies are deliberate, yet subtle, effectively stealing users’ time and attention for as long as possible. With features like infinite scroll and real-time notifications, these platforms encourage compulsive habits (Hou et al., 2019), leading not only to countless hours of lost time, but also the ability to control how time is spent.

Additionally, excessive use of social media creates problems beyond lost time and attention. For instance, Ezeonwumelu et al. (2021) found that students who reported more frequent use of social media also struggled with time management and academic performance. As more time is spent scrolling though social media platforms, users struggle to find time for school, work, or personal endeavours. Moreover, when individuals who frequently use social media are offline, they often find themselves overly concerned about it, with uncontrollable urges to log on as a habit (Hou et al., 2019). While some users report that they use social media to pass time, for entertainment, or to escape boredom (Kircaburun et al., 2020), these behaviours can turn into harmful cycles. Not only are users hooked by the attention-grabbing nature of these platforms, but even when they are offline, some find it hard to stop thinking about them. There is a constant urge to check in – to see what is new, respond to messages, or to avoid missing out. These patterns are not unlike other forms of addiction, where withdrawing leads to discomfort or a strong urge to return.

These effects are part of what makes social media so time-consuming by design – platforms are built to keep users coming back, even when they try to step away. As the cycle continues, it becomes harder to stay focused and engaged with life offline. Over time, the online world begins to feel more immediate or sometimes more fulfilling than being offline – not by choice but shaped through habit.

Disconnection from Real Life

Despite the promise of constant connection, excessive social media use often leads to emotional and social disconnection. Smith and Alheneidi (2023) discuss how problematic internet use or ‘internet misuse’ correlates with a decline in face-to-face interactions and an increase in depression and loneliness. People who are addicted to social media can be physically present, but mentally absent, as they “invest in online relationships at the expense of real-life ones” (Smith & Alheneidi, 2023, para. 3). This decline in real-life interactions not only affects one’s social life but can also have long-term effects on their psychological wellbeing. Evidence of this can be found in numerous studies dating as far back as the 1990s, when the Internet first came about (Smith & Alheneidi, 2023). For instance, in a systematic review, Keles et al. (2019) found strong associations between social media use and mental health problems like anxiety and depression. Rizvi and Parihar (2024) add that social media use contributes to academic procrastination and as a result, creates more stress and emotional exhaustion.

While the idea that social media overuse can lead to long-term issues in mental and social wellbeing is not unfamiliar, more recent studies discover an increasing loss of balance between digital and physical lives. Duradoni et al. (2023) suggest that the time and effort spent creating and maintaining a digital persona can leave users feeling detached from their real selves. Chaudhary (2024) explores the physiological side of things, explaining that increased digitisation leads to more sedentary lifestyles, suggesting that the drawbacks of excessive social media use extend beyond the psychological scope. On top of this, the constant exposure to content from creators or influencers can lead users to compare their own lives to unrealistic standards. Over time, this can lead to decreased self-esteem, self-doubt and dissatisfaction with oneself.

When so much time and energy is spent on one’s online presence or matching unrealistic standards, many users risk losing touch not only with others, but more importantly, themselves. What begins as a means of connection or self-expression can gradually blur the line between what is real and what is curated. As more time is spent online, time for meaningful experiences offline – such as social interaction or personal growth – is lost as a result. This loss can lead to users feeling less present, seeking constant validation from others, and becoming increasingly disconnected from their sense of self. In this way, social media takes more than just time – it can distort and disconnect users from their priorities, their relationships, and ultimately, their identity.

The Illusion of Community

Social media platforms often market themselves as spaces for connection and community. While in theory, these platforms provide space for people to interact and share experiences, it raises the question: what kind of communities are really being built online, and how authentic are these connections? Hampton (2015) notes that digital platforms have made communication constant and pervasive, keeping people connected in ways that were not possible previously. However, this constant connection does not always allow for deeper, more meaningful interactions. Instead, users may feel part of and aware of others’ lives without ever meaningfully engaging with them.

Hampton and Wellman (2018) argue that although there is frequent panic surrounding the loss of traditional community in the digital age, online spaces can still support new types of social connection. Even so, not all online interactions feel equally as real or meaningful. Many of these spaces are now taken over by trends and algorithms, making some connections feel more surface-level than supportive. While online groups can offer support or a sense of belonging, it is not uncommon for these connections to eventually fade. Additionally, research by Sarwar et al. (2018) shows that while social media can enhance learning and increase participation in educational communities, its potential is dampened by issues like cyberbullying, which create unsafe online environments.

Beyond this, the social dynamics in today’s social media culture can be emotionally draining. With constant pressure to be the most perfect version of oneself combined with others’ seemingly flawless image, users are encouraged to idealise their lives online. Over time, this environment can lead to unrealistic comparison and insecurities, leaving users feeling more isolated than connected. In this way, online communities do not always provide the trust, understanding, or emotional safety that one might need.

Overall, connection alone is not enough – what people often seek is a genuine sense of belonging, they seek to be truly seen, and understood. Without this, even the most active online communities can feel distant or empty – more like an audience than a support system.

Conclusion

Social media is not inherently harmful. It has undoubtedly transformed how people communicate, build networks, and share ideas. However, these platforms have gradually become increasingly addictive, and thusly harmful to users’ time, wellbeing and ability to maintain meaningful real-life connections. What once served as a tool for connection now often disrupts it, taking us away from the people and moments that matter the most.

This paper has explored how social media platforms are designed to maximise attention, often at the expense of one’s wellbeing. With features that encourage constant scrolling and checking in, it becomes easy to lose track of time and harder to stay engaged in life offline. But the issue lies in more than just lost time – it affects how people think, feel, and connect with the world around them.

Though these challenges are significant, they are not irreversible. Small, conscious changes in everyday life can help us regain control over our time and attention. For instance, setting screen time limits, turning off unnecessary notifications, or intentionally setting aside offline time – these are small, yet beneficial changes that support a healthier balance between our physical and digital lives.

On a larger scale, it is important that people are educated and understand that these platforms are deliberately designed to steal our time and attention. This awareness should not only be shared among users, but also among designers and developers. If social media companies consider the impact their design choices have on users’ wellbeing, they can implement more ethical designs that are healthier and more balanced, supporting healthier behaviours in the digital world.

Ultimately, how people choose to spend their time shapes the kind of life they live. Choosing to step back from compulsive online habits is not just about reducing screen time – it’s about creating space for more presence, more connection and more meaning. Reclaiming our time from social media is a simple but powerful way to reconnect with what truly matters to us.

References

Bhargava, V. R., & Velasquez, M. (2021). Ethics of the Attention Economy: The Problem of Social Media Addiction. Business Ethics Quarterly, 31(3), 321-359. https://doi.org/10.1017/beq.2020.32

Chaudhary, S. (2024). Balancing Digital Life with Physical Activities. Journal Global Values, 15(7), 50-56. https://anubooks.com/uploads/session_pdf/17299360217.%20Dr.%20Seema%20Chaudhary%2050-56.pdf

Ezeonwumelu, V. U., Nwikpo, M. N., C.C., O., & Ekanem, E. I. (2021). Social Media Addiction and Time Management Skills of University Students in Akwa Ibom State, Nigeria. Global Journal of Social Sciences Studies, 7(1), 24–34. https://doi.org/10.20448/807.7.1.24.34

Hampton, K. N. (2015). Persistent and Pervasive Community: New Communication Technologies and the Future of Community. American Behavioural Scientist 60(1). 101-124. https://doi.org/10.1177/0002764215601714

Hampton, K. N. & Wellman, B. (2018). Lost and Saved… Again: The Moral Panic about the Loss of Community Takes Hold of Social Media. Contemporary Sociology (Washington), 6(47), 643-651. https://doi.org/10.1177/0094306118805415

Hou, Y., Xiong, D., Jiang, T., Song, L., & Wang, Q. (2019). Social media addiction: Its impact, mediation, and intervention. Cyberpsychology: Journal of Psychosocial Research on Cyberspace, 13(1), https://doi.org/10.5817/CP2019-1-4

India, F. (2024). Aren’t You Lonely? After Babel. https://www.afterbabel.com/p/arent-you-lonely

Keles, B., McCrae, N., & Grealish, A. (2019). A systematic review: the influence of social media on depression, anxiety and psychological distress in adolescents. International Journal of Adolescence and Youth, 25(1), 79-93. https://doi.org/10.1080/02673843.2019.1590851

Kircaburun, K., Alhabash, S., Tosuntaş, Ş. B. & Griffiths, M. D. (2020). Uses and Gratifications of Problematic Social Media Use Among University Students: a Simultaneous Examination of the Big Five of Personality Traits, Social Media Platforms, and Social Media Use Motives. International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction 18, 525–547. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-018-9940-6

Rizvi, B. & Parihar, I. (2024). The Impact of Social Media Addiction on Academic Procrastination: A Comparative Study of Undergraduate and Postgraduate Students in Lucknow City. The International Journal of Indian Psychology, 12(3), 2646-2656. https://ijip.in/articles/impact-of-social-media-addiction/

Sarwar, B., Zulfiqar, S., Aziz, S., & Chandia, K. E. (2018). Usage of Social Media Tools for Collaborative Learning: The Effect on Learning Success With the Moderating Role of Cyberbullying. Journal of Educational Computing Research, 57(1), 246-279. https://doi.org/10.1177/0735633117748415

Smith, A. P. & Alheneidi, H. (2023). The Internet and Loneliness. AMA Journal of Ethics, 25(11), 833-838. https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/internet-and-loneliness/2023-11